At least once in our lives, we’ve spent our precious time deciding which main, snack and drink is best suited to us; perhaps you choose depending on how you’re feeling that day, or maybe you go for the same thing every time. Whatever the case, and whichever fine institution you choose to purchase your meal deal from, in this article, we’ll tell you exactly what you lunch choices say about you.
Cheese or ham sandwich: We get it. You’re easy-going. For you, there’s nothing that tops a day off work that you can spend catching up on all the Netflix you’ve missed while you munch down on your boring sandwich choice and pretend that politics doesn’t affect you. (It does).
Smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich: You definitely like the finer things in life. You probably bought this from Pret, or if you didn’t, you wish you could. You dream of a life where you wake up on a luxury yacht in the South of France, and already you’ve earned enough money to end world hunger. But instead, luxury for you means going to a bottomless brunch at Slug & Lettuce.
Breakfast panini: It’s probably a miracle if you’re invited to a party at 8pm, and you turn up any earlier than 10. Your friends can never rely on you to be on time; to you, “I’m five minutes away!” translates to “I’ve just put a pizza in the oven and I’m still in my pyjamas”. But anyway, at least your friends know the party doesn’t start until you arrive.
The Triple: Here’s someone who likes to get the most for what they’re paying for. You are, without a doubt, that friend who always says they’re poor when really they have £5000 in savings they don’t tell anyone about. You’re the person who actually holds onto the Subway vouchers that get shoved in your letterbox. If you could wish for anything, you’d wish for more wishes. Prove me wrong.
Hoisin duck wrap: Every friendship group has a funny one, and if you can’t think of someone, it’s definitely you. Even though your only best friends on Snapchat consist of your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and someone random you speak to for 5 minutes, when it comes to who gets the most laughs in the Zoom quiz, there’s no denying that it’s you.
Egg mayo: I don’t know what goes through someone’s head when buying this sandwich. Either you’re eating alone, or you hate everyone. You have to respect it really; it’s bold to buy something you know will instantly make everyone in a 6ft radius of you want to tear their own nose off. It’s one way to practice social distancing, I guess.
Sushi: You’re definitely the mum of the group. You always make sure your friends text you when they get home, and who always has a spare plaster, sanitary pad, or paracetamol in their bag. For you, it’s always Chardonnay-University-Challenge-o’clock. You always give the best birthday gifts and spend way too much on a card from Typo that, let’s face it, will be on the shelf for a week before being thrown into recycling.
Pasta bowl: Get a grip. If you get pasta in your meal deal then there is something seriously wrong with you. It goes against all meal deal principles and beliefs. You probably think you’re being different and quirky but really you’re not. You should be a shamed of yourself.
Crisps: Its the obvious choice; you’re clearly someone who likes to follow the crowd a bit and definitely says “I’ll have what they’re having” when ordering food in a restaurant.
Chocolate: This is someone who doesn’t mess around when it comes to food. You clearly understand the basics of a meal: main, dessert, drink. It’s simple. A chocolate bar is the underrated choice, and that reflects in you. You’re the person who says they listened to Frank Ocean before he was famous, but you actually did. Everyone respects you.
Posh popcorn: You are one middle class individual. Crisps? Don’t be silly! You probably have a Labrador or a Springer Spaniel, and you definitely clapped for the NHS in the first lockdown, but voted Tory in the 2019 general election.
Fridge raiders: Grow up.
Fruit box: I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think meal deals are for you. You can’t just buy a chicken mayo and bag of Walkers but justify it with a tub of grapes. You probably have avocado on toast everyday, and think that cooking vegetables and rice makes you the next Jamie Oliver.
Water: You’re an indecisive over-thinker. When shopping for clothes, you probably spend half an hour deciding between two options and in the end choose the first one you picked up and put back because it was too flashy. Your favourite saying is definitely “I don’t mind” unless the question is “How do you like your steak?”, I think we all know what your answer is.
Smoothie/milkshake: Just like The Triple, smoothies and milkshakes are only bought by those who check their bank balance as part of their social media routine in the morning. You probably took economics and have the graph emoji in your Tinder bio. It’s a no brainer though; they’re at least £2 so why wouldn’t you?
Energy drink: Living life in the fast lane isn’t just a choice for you, it’s a lifestyle. You don’t have time to make lunch, a meal deal if your only option. Your life consists of being on the grind 24/7. Whether it’s work, gym or uni, you don’t have time for much else; it’s go go go from the moment you wake up. (You can keep saying you’re too busy to date anyone, but no one will believe you).
Fizzy drink: You don’t like change one bit. Your worst nightmare was probably when Mel and Sue stopped hosting Bake Off and Prue Leith replaced Mary Berry. You’re reliable too; everyone knows you’ll probably go as a cat for halloween, because you always do.
Coconut water: Please tell me more about your travels in South-East Asia where you ‘found yourself’ and saw the ‘cruel reality of exploitation in third-world countries’. Oh what’s that? Your new top from Pretty Little Thing? Looks great.
Protein drink: You’re nothing but a stereotype. Instagram full of gym selfies, Snapchat full of before and after pics, Facebook full of “miss the gym” status’. Lockdown has hit you hard now you can’t use the treadmills everyday; if only there were a free alternative that you can do almost anywhere! Trust me, it won’t kill you if you eat a KitKat once in a while.
Written by Olivia Clayton